When a Family Member Has an Addiction: A Guide for Indiana Families

Watching someone you love struggle with addiction is one of the most painful experiences a family can endure. You may feel helpless, angry, confused, heartbroken — and completely unsure what to do. This guide is for Indiana families navigating this difficult journey.

Understanding Addiction as a Family Disease

Addiction doesn’t just affect the person using substances — it affects everyone in the family system. Researchers often describe addiction as a “family disease” because:

Family members adapt their behavior to manage or accommodate the addiction
Roles within the family shift (a child may take on a parenting role)
Trauma, anxiety, and depression are common among family members
Enabling behaviors — though well-intentioned — can inadvertently sustain the addiction

Understanding this doesn’t mean the family is to blame. It means that families often need support and healing of their own, separate from whatever happens with their loved one.

What Doesn’t Help (Even When It Feels Like Helping)

Giving Money

Providing cash to someone actively using substances typically funds more substance use. This is true even when the stated need is rent, utilities, or food — money is fungible.

Covering Up Consequences

Calling in sick for them, paying off debts, lying to family members or employers — these actions remove the natural consequences that sometimes motivate people to seek help.

Ultimatums You Won’t Keep

Saying “if you drink again, I’m leaving” and not following through teaches your loved one that your words don’t mean what you say. Only issue ultimatums you are genuinely prepared to follow through on.

Threatening or Pleading During Active Use

Conversations about getting help are rarely productive when someone is intoxicated or in withdrawal. Choose calmer moments.

Ignoring Your Own Needs

Many family members become so focused on the person with addiction that they neglect their own health, relationships, and wellbeing. This is not sustainable and doesn’t help anyone.

What Does Help

Setting and Maintaining Boundaries

A boundary is something you will or won’t do — not something you’re demanding your loved one do. Effective boundaries:

Are focused on your own behavior, not theirs
Are communicated clearly and calmly
Are consistently maintained
Come from a place of love, not punishment

Examples: “I won’t lend you money.” “I won’t allow drug use in our home.” “I won’t lie to your employer.”

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon

These free peer support groups for family members of people with alcohol or drug addiction are available throughout Indiana. They provide a community of people who understand your experience, practical tools for setting boundaries, and support for your own wellbeing.

Find Al-Anon meetings in Indiana

Professional Counseling

Individual therapy for family members — particularly therapists trained in addiction family systems — can be transformative. Many find that working on their own responses opens new possibilities in their relationships.

CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training)

CRAFT is an evidence-based approach that teaches family members specific skills to influence their loved one toward treatment while improving their own wellbeing. Research shows CRAFT is more effective than Al-Anon or traditional intervention in engaging people in treatment.

Considering an Intervention

A formal intervention is a structured conversation in which family and friends express their love and concern, describe the specific impact of the addiction, and ask the person to accept help. Done well, interventions can be powerful.

Some guidance:

Work with a professional interventionist for complex situations, especially if there’s a risk of violence, severe mental illness, or the person has refused help many times
ARISE Network offers a gentler, invitation-based model that is often very effective
Plan logistics in advance: Have a treatment program confirmed and ready to admit your loved one if they say yes
Focus on specific behaviors and feelings, not labels or accusations
Be prepared for any outcome — including the person refusing help

Calling the Indiana Addiction Hotline

When you call, you can speak with a counselor not just about your loved one’s situation, but about how you’re coping and what options exist for supporting them. We understand that you may be calling for someone else — and we’re here for you too.

1-800-662-4357 — Free, confidential, 24/7.

If You’re in Crisis

If your loved one has overdosed or is in immediate danger:

Call 911 immediately
Administer naloxone (Narcan) if available — it’s available without a prescription at Indiana pharmacies
Indiana’s Good Samaritan Law provides some protection from prosecution when calling 911 for an overdose

If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself due to the stress of a loved one’s addiction:

Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Taking Care of Yourself

Your wellbeing matters — not just for you, but because you cannot effectively support anyone else if you’re depleted. Some non-negotiables:

Maintain your own healthcare appointments
Reach out to your own friends and support systems
Consider therapy for yourself
Remember that you did not cause this, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it — but you can learn to cope and find joy in your own life regardless of what your loved one chooses

You Are Not Alone

Hundreds of thousands of Indiana families are living with addiction in their home right now. You do not have to figure this out alone. The Indiana Addiction Hotline is here to support not just people with addiction, but the families who love them.

Call now: 1-800-662-4357 — Free, confidential, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.